• Celia Robbins moved with her family to Berlin after her husband got a job in Germany.
• Robbins, 37, was surprised to see how free the kids were in Berlin.
• She said she has learned to let go of her parents’ worries and give her children more freedom.

As mentioned, this article is based on a conversation with Celia Robbins, an American who moved to Berlin with her family. She works at the United States Embassy in Berlin. The following has been edited for length and clarity.

Living in the college town of Ithaca, New York, my family of six was used to watching people go by. In October 2022, my husband completed his postdoc at Cornell University and landed his dream job at a research center in Rostock, Germany. Finally it was our turn to try a new experience. We were excited.

It was an opportunity for us to live abroad with our four children – the oldest is now 15, our twins are 12 and our youngest is 9. High school, we thought was the perfect stage for us to move.

Last year, the kids and I moved to Berlin so they could attend an international school. My husband goes to Rostock— 2 hour train ride. – A few days a week and return every weekend.

Back in the US, I was raising my kids by helicopter, with a lot of control over every aspect of their lives.

I was looking at my children’s schedule in America.

I spent about two hours in the car every day, taking my kids to school or a long list of extracurricular activities. My husband and I were juggling a lot of balls together, struggling to fit our schedules as the kids depended on us to take them anywhere.

But here in Berlin, kids are expected to take care of their own things and take themselves places.

I no longer conform to their schedules, by and large thank you As for Berlin’s public transport system – we don’t even have a car here.

If my kids want to do an extracurricular activity, they take it themselves. So, if someone is ambitious and wants to choose five, that’s fine, because it’s up to them. They are responsible for their own activities and let us know when they will be out for their Model UN meeting. Or band practice.

In America, I did some consulting and course writing on the side. Now, I have a lot more freedom and have taken up a full-time job at the US Embassy.

I let my children be independent.

While I always feel safe in my hometown of New York, in Berlin, my children feel safer being out alone.

A year ago, I wouldn’t have been okay with my 9-year-old coming home alone. But seeing how normal it is for other kids to carry themselves for their age, it showed me what kids are capable of. So, this fear has been eliminated.

There is a sense of community here for children to explore. Children here are expected to be a bit more independent, so it’s not unusual to see them out on their own.

The adjustment period was difficult.

For us For the first few weeks, I was one of the few moms doing pick-ups and drop-offs at school. There was another American mother, and when She stopped, my kids were like, “Please stop mom.” Once I stopped, I felt a sense of relief. They will be fine.

Back in America, if my kids left their musical instruments at home and learned the cello, I’d get a call from the school secretary to bring me in. But the Berlin school said, “We’re not going to call you. It’s your child’s responsibility.”

Although I was a bit shocked, it has taught both me and my children that they are capable of much more than we thought they were.

I am proud of my children for becoming more independent.

Sometimes I want a little more control. But I am very grateful to every child that my children have become friends with.

Children are the best teachers for other children. My kids look up to their friends and are learning to live a life where they are more accountable for their choices and decisions.

Recently, my son left his lunch at home. Before, I would panic if I saw his lunch box still on the counter, thinking, “Oh my God, he hasn’t eaten today.” But later that day, he told me, after noticing he’d forgotten his lunch, a friend said, “Let’s buy you a pretzel,” and they worked out a solution.

It’s been weird for me. I still want my kids to need me in some ways, but our relationship has changed to the point where I have less of a mental burden to remember. Now, they are expected to be responsible for things.

I have learned to let go of my control and parental anxiety.

Maybe my kids are growing up too. But now it’s become a relationship where they can give me a lot as a parent.

I have been sick and was recently in the hospital. My husband texted our kids to ask if any of them could pick up milk on the way home and help with other chores. And they did.

It has changed me as a parent because it has taken away the pressure to always be “on”. In the past, I could never take a sick day.

I get asked all the time, “Are you home sick?” And while I miss my mom and being able to call the doctor for antibiotics, I miss living in America.

I’ve learned that home is where we come together, and, for now, Berlin is home.

Do you have a travel abroad story you’d like to share? Contact the reporter, Erin: [email protected].