Why Your Rich Friend's Tendency to Be the Most Stingy Is Right, Says Expert

Scrolling through my Venmo transactions, it’s clear that the ridiculously low money requests are almost always from friends who were either born with me or make more money than me.

The experience is curious and seemingly universal.

“Rich people like to request $4.72 from Venmo for like half a bagel because they have no concept of money and don’t understand that working class people operate under the economy of buying someone a beer.” An X user thought..

“Dude making $450k as a software engineer: ‘Can you Venmo me $3.62 for your share of the Uber ride?'” wrote another.

Susan Bradley, founder of the Sudden Money Institute, coaches clients who have quickly or unexpectedly run into large cash losses on how to get out of not having them.

The adage of the rich friend being stingy is true, she says: “People with more money than their peers struggle with generosity.”

‘They are unparalleled’

If a person knows they’re in a higher income bracket than their friends, they’re likely to feel isolated or “othered,” Bradley says.

“People with a lot more[money]tend to have a lower demographic as their peers,” she says. “So in some ways they are unique.”

Because their money is what distinguishes them from their friends, they begin to believe that they have money. Why They have friends.

“They don’t want to take advantage or feel like, ‘I have money and that’s why people hang out with me,'” Bradley says. “It feels so unfair.”

These insecurities show up as a $4 Venmo request.

“If someone does a small dollar Venmo, it means they don’t feel good,” Bradley says.

If someone makes a small dollar Venmo, it means they don’t feel good.

Susan Bradley

Founder of Sudden Money Institute

‘The greater the wealth, the greater the focus on transactional relationships’.

Being economically disadvantaged also means you can struggle with a sense of community, says Hal Hirschfeld, a professor at the University of California, Los Angeles’ Anderson School of Management. Hirschfield studies the psychology of long-term decision making.

“With greater wealth comes greater focus on transactional relationships, which can then bleed into relationships that should Be communal,” says Hirschfeld.

Let’s say you are moving apartments. If you’re trying to save money, you can enlist the help of a few friends. This preference indicates communal relations.

If you make enough money to pay for movers, the experience becomes a transaction.

Soon, he says, you may begin to see the world in a more transactional way, and that will carry over into your friendships.

If a friend Venmo asks you for a small amount of money, Bradley suggests doing two things: Pay it and then ask if there’s anything else going on with them.

“If they’re doing that, it’s a way of not taking advantage,” she says. “It might be about something that hasn’t been dealt with in the past with long legs. They don’t care about $4.”